Building Rapport: 5 Keys for Better Connections

How to Bond With People on a Deeper Level

Whether at work, in friendships, or romantic relationships, rapport is the glue that bonds and sparks collaboration.

Rapport goes beyond casual acquaintance to a feeling of connection, positivity, and being in sync. Trading rapport accelerates trust, enjoyment, and mutual understanding.

Building genuine rapport with coworkers, business associates, and customers goes beyond transactional relationships. When you truly trust one another and have rapport, you will build relationships that lead to:

• Increased sales and revenue
• Stronger customer loyalty
• Improved employee productivity and engagement
• More effective teamwork and collaboration
• A more positive and productive work environment

How can you genuinely build such deep relationships? In general, people tend to relate and trust people that show sincerity while also being relatable to their own personality. While building trust and rapport is a sincere and genuine endeavor, there are things that you can do to help connect more deeply with others and start the foundation for long lasting relationships. In this article, we will focus on 5 main areas:

1. Attention
2. Mirroring Cues
3. Finding Commonalities
4. Showing Vulnerability, and
5. Complimenting with sincerity

Focus Your Attention

Attentiveness shows the other person they are your priority. When working, collaborating, or communicating with people, active listening and focusing your attention lets them know that you are present in the conversation and genuinely interested in what they have to say. While conversing with someone:

• Maintain comfortable eye contact without staring.
• Position your body toward the other for open receptiveness.
• Listen fully without looking at your phone. Nod, smile. Give verbal and nonverbal feedback.
• Recall and reference details from prior conversations to demonstrate memory.
• Ask open-ended follow up questions to signal ongoing interest.

When you provide focused presence, the other person will value the interest you show, and be more willing to connect deeply with you.

Mirror Verbal and Nonverbal Cues

Subtle mirroring of the other's energy, mood and body language increases harmony. While we want to be sure not to go overboard, when we match tone, volume, and emotion with others, its shows immediately that we are hearing and seeing them as they are. Try this:

• Adopt a similar speech rate and vocal tone.
• Laugh when they laugh, express concern when they're worried. Match emotions.
• Naturally reflect back key words and phrases they use to show understanding.
• Lean in when they lean in. Sit more formally if they are reserved. Reflect body language.
• Comments like "I feel the same," or "I was thinking something similar," verbalize your commonality.

Find Common Ground

People like others that like the same things they do. We see this in sports, work, relationships, religion - we tend to spend more time with people that share similar experiences, values, or personality traits. Now, we don't expect you to have 100% of interests align with someone else, but finding any common ground can immediately extend a relationship beyond trivial pursuits. Some ideas:

• Ask probing questions to identify mutual interests, backgrounds, or challenges.
• If you uncover commonalities, point them out explicitly - "It seems we both love to cook!"
• Tell relevant stories or anecdotes about your own life experiences to highlight similarities.
• Verbally affirm your shared perspectives - "I agree completely on..."
• Joke playfully about things you both relate to. Humor based on common ground lands well.

Discussing mutual points forms a platform of immediate camaraderie.

Show Vulnerability

Going from a connection to deep rapport happens when you are willing to share things with someone that you might not share with a stranger. By opening up, you can show a sense of trust and take your relationship to the next level. While this one is really important, it also can take some real time to develop a relationship to this point.

• Start small by revealing everyday worries or challenges you think they may relate to.
• Don't overshare deeply personal issues until emotional safety builds over time.
• Present vulnerably by admitting uncertainty at times. No one has all the answers.
• Allow yourself to display emotion if organically moved by the conversation.
• Talk tentatively and invite their thoughts before asserting definite opinions.

Demonstrating genuine emotion and imperfection makes you more relatable. And when someone opens up to you, you get to prove that you are the type of person worth sharing details with.

Give Sincere Compliments

Skillful compliments elevate mood, reinforce shared values, and boost motivation. But make them count and make them unique. The way you give praise shows the level of attention you paid to the person immediately.

• Notice their admirable qualities and praise specifically - "You structured that argument so logically."
• Compliment character over superficial attributes - "You handled that disagreement with patience."
• Reference past accomplishments positively - "I continue to be impressed by your ability to connect with clients."
• Do it verbally or through thoughtful gestures like bringing their preferred snack.
• Avoid flattery or praise that might feel objectifying. Keep it classy.

Heartfelt praise deepens goodwill, self-worth and reciprocated appreciation.

Master Your Next Conversation

Scan this checklist regularly to self-assess which skills you excel at and which need refinement. Are you fully attentive? Do you establish sufficient common ground? With conscious practice, rapport becomes second nature.

The deeper the connections you build with people, the more abundance you'll see back to you. It doesn't matter if you are trying to deepen existing relationships or cultivate new ones - in your next conversations, aim to build rapport.

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